The Quest for a Mile

So, I went to the doctor today, and stepped on that scale. I wasn't expecting much (pound loss? Pound gain?). But I certainly wasn't expecting what I saw.

Six pounds.

Gained.

Oooohhhh noooooo. Why? I haven't been THAT bad! I still don't understand. My clothes don't even feel different; if anything, I think my jeans feel a little looser. WHY??

I didn't really want to get into all this now, but ...

See, I went to the doctor a month ago today because I knew things weren't right. She diagnosed me with anxiety-induced depression, and put me on medication. Today was the day to see if the meds were doing what they should. There is such shame to admitting you have been diagnosed with depression, like you can't handle things. Like you're fragile. Fact is, I try to be superwoman, and I get too much on my plate, and I beat myself up if I can't do everything perfect.

So I started running to do two things: to make me healthier and to lose weight, and to help me to overcome depression. Give me something to look forward to, to accomplish. I feel accomplished.

But six pounds? Really?? In a month??? *sigh*

I was stuck in meetings all day, and I've actually gotta wrap this up because my husband and I are going to go meet some friends tonight and play games. I need some cheering up. But that means no running today. I'm feeling pretty low, friends. Any good words?

Posted in: depression, weight gain on Friday, July 31, 2009 at at 5:32 PM 4 comments  

Woo-hoo! 1:50! Two minutes is not far away! It sounded so crazy last week to jog two minutes. Now I know I can do it! Amazing how adaptable the human body is once it is kicked in the butt, isn't it? :)

Well, I jogged for 1:50, walked for 3 minutes. I went 2.005 miles, burned 256 calories, and it took me 45:00.

If you're wondering why I didn't post yesterday, it's because I didn't jog yesterday. Yeah, I felt bad about that, too -- but I've got a good reason! The reason I didn't is because I got a mild migraine in the midafternoon and it didn't go away for the rest of the night. (I get headaches and migraines when major weather systems are about to head through my area, and we are under a tornado watch as we speak. I think I'd trade an achy knee or something rather than a headache, you know?!?) I almost tried to jog anyway, just so that my streak wasn't broken. My husband said, however, that perhaps I shouldn't do it because if I strained myself in that state, I was only asking to see my supper again. He was right. Vomiting would not make me a healthier person. :)

So, the streak is broken, but I'm back on track now, and, you know, there's gonna be some days that I'm not gonna be able to jog, but I can't fall off the wagon and get into the habit of not jogging, even when those days come by.

Plus, my husband and I spent the whole afternoon doing some hardcore cleaning. I'm talking like moving the fridge and the stove and mopping under them. It felt good, and since we worked so hard and steady for so many hours, I bet I made up those calories I missed jogging the day before, anyway.

Well, tomorrow I am gonna weigh in. I'm not expecting much; food-wise, sometimes I've been good and sometimes I've been bad since I've been jogging. (I know I need to be good ALL the time, but ... well, one goal at a time, right??) Plus, I knew when I took this up that it was gonna be a long time before I could jog long enough to truly see some change and major calories burned. But, even a pound would be nice ... ? We shall see! I'll let you know, even if it's not good. I know you guys have got my back even when things aren't well.

Well, good night, all! Stay strong!! :)

Posted in: cleaning, food habits, jogging, migraines, treadmill on Thursday, July 30, 2009 at at 8:36 PM 2 comments  

Well, I've had a couple of new readers join since the last time I posted, so let me say a big Welcome to my newbies! I love y'all's comments; it's truly what keeps me motivated. It has been many years since I have exercised this many days in a row. Thanks! :)

Tonight, I jogged for 1:45 and walked for 3 minutes. I ultimately went 2.016 miles and burned 257 calories. It took me 45 minutes.

My husband gave me a huge pick-me-up tonight! He said that he thinks he can tell a little bit of a difference around my hip-area, like I'm getting chiseled down. That made me feel so great! I don't really know if I have lost any weight yet (I'm actually going to get weighed in on Friday, and I'm skeered!), but it felt good that he thinks he sees a change. Also, when I was jogging (which he hasn't seen me do in a while, since I try to jog during the day so I don't make it too difficult for him to hear the TV!), he said, "You know, I think you're getting stronger!"

"You think?!?" I said, excited, while jogging.

"Oh, yeah! I mean, look at you! You're not panting and you're even able to talk to me! That excites me ... kind of makes me want to take you out for a jog with Lola and see what you can do!"

"Well, that would be fun! Just ... just remember how much I have to rest."

"That's all right. We can do it. Slow and steady wins the race, right?"

I just beamed.

Posted in: admiration from husband, exercise, getting stronger, jogging, slow and steady on Tuesday, July 28, 2009 at at 9:18 PM 2 comments  

Another session down! The math is getting harder to do in my head, which is hilarious in a sad kind of way. I'm having to write down my times so that I don't cheat myself out of a round. Whatever you gotta do, right??

I jogged for 1:40, walked for 3 minutes. I went 2.001 miles, burned 256 calories, and it took me 45:00.

On top of failing to exercise, I have also let my house get into a sad state of affairs over the past few months. (I'd get home and just want to sit, not exercise or cook or clean or anything -- not even think!) Tonight my husband and I are gonna try to attack the house again. That'll burn a few more calories, and make the house feel better, too! I'm just trying to develop a whole new set of better habits. Better habits and better thinking! Better go get to it!

Posted in: exercise, improved habits, jogging, mental math, tiredness, treadmill on Monday, July 27, 2009 at at 5:50 PM 3 comments  

Well, another session down! I have now officially been jogging for an entire week; this is a huge accomplishment for me! Yay!

As for my stats: I jogged for 1:35, walked for 3 minutes. I went 2.113 miles, burned 268 calories, and it took me 48:00.

Today I haven't felt the greatest, and I was considering not jogging tonight because of it. My husband finally said after I commented to him that I really didn't want to jog that I would be glad that I did tomorrow. He was right; I was feeling good enough to do it -- I was just letting another excuse get in the way. I remembered my ole tennis days that I would play no matter how crappy I felt unless I had a fever and/or was throwing up. What happened to that stronger person that used to be me? I've gotta dig her out under this layer of fat, I think!

Well, it's getting late. Guess I need to hit the hay for the evening. Until tomorrow! :) Stay strong, all!

Posted in: exercise, jogging, perseverence, treadmill on Sunday, July 26, 2009 at at 10:50 PM 2 comments  

Wow, 1:30! It's hard to believe that it was less than a week ago that I was only jogging for one minute at a time, and worried that I might not have been able to do it! I am seriously feeling very proud of myself, because I have wanted to do this for a long time, and for the first time it feels attainable. Some days are harder than others, even in this short time span, but I've only grown, and I'm feeling great. :)

Okay, my stats this go-around: I jogged for 1:30, walked for three minutes. I burned 266 calories, and ultimately walked 2.098 miles. It took me 48 minutes.

Might I also add that I did this exercise bout after taking my dog Lola for a walk and playing around with her for about an hour? Our walks are intense -- probably 45 minutes of that was walking her. She LOVES to walk. Remember how I commented a couple of posts ago about how I bought a toy that allows me to throw her a tennis ball and I don't have to bend over so far to pick it up once she brings the ball back? Well, she is a great fetcher ... until about the 4th time. Then she is bored with it and wants to go for a walk! I couldn't help but wonder why I couldn't have a dog that would let me sit in a chair with a glass of cool ice tea and just let me occasionally throw her a ball to exercise her. But ohhhhhh no, she wants me involved! I laughed and figured that was probably what I needed anyway. She's my buddy so I can't stay mad at her. :)

Well, until tomorrow, guys! I'll be inching my way closer to running for 2 minutes at a time! Hooray!!

Posted in: accomplishments, dog walking, fetching, goals on Saturday, July 25, 2009 at at 9:21 PM 1 comments  

Okay, so this post is a day late, but I haven't had internet access. I helped move my sister-in-law into her new apartment yesterday, so all day was a sweatin' kind of day. Around 9:45 when we were all done, I said, "Hey, let's go work out in the apartment complex's gym." She was all for that, so we went and exercised there.

Now let me stress to you that I was working out with my husband's sister. I have previously mentioned that my husband is the pinnacle of athletic perfection without even trying. His sister is no exception. (It occurred to me a couple of years ago that, when hanging out with my husband and his sister, I am suddenly the slow, fat kid with asthma, even though in a typical crowd I might not be stereotyped that way quite so fast!) She ran cross country in high school (even won state!) and she has kept up her slim-n-trim figure all through college. On a fat day, she is a size two (at a height of 5'7"), and this is no exaggeration. I even felt selfconscious walking next to her in her short shorts that looked perfect on her, and I was in my lightweight sweatpants that demurely hide the cottage cheese which lies beneath.

There were two treadmills in the gym; one was much more savvy than the other one. I let her pick, saying that she knows more about what she's doing than I do. She took the more technologically-advanced one. This was fine with me, even though after I started running it became painfully obvious that the belt needed tightening on my treadmill. I kept slipping on it! I couldn't really let myself go as I normally do at home (I suppose possibly for several reasons), and also my standard speed of 4 didn't feel nearly as fast as it did on my treadmill at home, so I went at a speed of 4.7 on this foreign treadmill. It was quite an adventure, let me tell you.

Anyway, it said that I burned 253 calories, but I don't know how well I trust the thing. How I missed my treadmill at home!!

At the end of the workout, she looked over at me and asked about my running pattern. I was telling her about it, and she seemed really impressed by how quickly I am picking it up. That made me feel pretty good, even if she burned more calories on the elliptical machine alone waiting for me to finish after she had already jogged her 3 miles at a 7.6 speed. Oh, well. You've gotta crawl before you can walk, right?

Well, I think I'm gonna go outside and horse around with Lola for a little bit, and then I'll come back inside and run my mile for today ... 1:30, here I come!!

Posted in: athletic perfection, belt slipping, fat kid with asthma, goals, sister-in-law, treadmill on at at 7:05 PM 1 comments