Depression ...
So, I went to the doctor today, and stepped on that scale. I wasn't expecting much (pound loss? Pound gain?). But I certainly wasn't expecting what I saw.
Six pounds.
Gained.
Oooohhhh noooooo. Why? I haven't been THAT bad! I still don't understand. My clothes don't even feel different; if anything, I think my jeans feel a little looser. WHY??
I didn't really want to get into all this now, but ...
See, I went to the doctor a month ago today because I knew things weren't right. She diagnosed me with anxiety-induced depression, and put me on medication. Today was the day to see if the meds were doing what they should. There is such shame to admitting you have been diagnosed with depression, like you can't handle things. Like you're fragile. Fact is, I try to be superwoman, and I get too much on my plate, and I beat myself up if I can't do everything perfect.
So I started running to do two things: to make me healthier and to lose weight, and to help me to overcome depression. Give me something to look forward to, to accomplish. I feel accomplished.
But six pounds? Really?? In a month??? *sigh*
I was stuck in meetings all day, and I've actually gotta wrap this up because my husband and I are going to go meet some friends tonight and play games. I need some cheering up. But that means no running today. I'm feeling pretty low, friends. Any good words?
Posted in: depression, weight gain on Friday, July 31, 2009 at at 5:32 PM 4 comments
